I………… God…………

I’m ashamed at what my life is right now.

I’m embarrassed that my friends have needed to create a coalition to help me.

I don’t really understand what they will get out of it.

I think it is a terrible investment on their part, I can’t ever repay them for it.

I feel that I don’t really have anything to offer.

I often wake up disappointed that I didn’t die in my sleep.

I find myself getting angry and upset much easier now.

I make bad decisions when I’m angry.

I have a strong urge to say, “I’m sorry”, whenever I interact with anyone.

I feel trapped within my own body.

I feel that I don’t know what to do to ensure the approval of those who are “taking care” of me.

I don’t know what I can do that would have any positive outcome. Everything feels useless.

I’m almost 30 and am much less self-sufficient than when I was 18.

I feel like I’m letting a lot of people down.

I wish I would have some sort of permanent severe problem (paralysis, terminal disease, etc.) because having the carrot of “better” dangling in front of me for 2+ years is getting tiring.

I’ve pretty much given up on ever having a girlfriend/marriage/a life involving any of “that stuff”.

I’m really excited for what CCF is doing on the FSU campus. I’m just trying to stay out of the way.

I’m finding it hard to be happy for people lately, or have feelings of empathy or sympathy.

I want to write this blog post, but feel that it is useless, and hate that it is causing pain, which is keeping me from “more important” things, which seem equally useless and cause just as much pain.

I have that same circular thought process about anything and everything.

I’m not suicidal, despite anything I’ve written above.

I just wouldn’t stop anyone if they wanted to mug me/shoot me/etc.

I’m upset at myself that my thoughts and feelings are so fickle and negative. I seemingly don’t know how to latch onto truth and believe it forever.

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God is still faithful. [Lamentations 3:22-23]

God is somehow moving in the hearts and lives of people because of the junk going on in my life. [Tommy Schorer, et al., 2 Corinthians 1:6-7]

God still loves me and will make me whole some day. [Philippians 3:21]

God promises that all of this will work out for my good. [Romans 8:28]

God isn’t surprised or caught off guard by my lack of faith or physical failings. [John 2:25, Acts 15:8]

God has always met my needs, and he will continue to do so. [Philippians 4:19]

God has a better idea of what my true needs are, not my selfish view of what I feel I “need”. [Matthew 6:31-33]

God is not disappointed in me. [Ephesians 1:3-4]

God wants to use me in telling his story of salvation to his people. [2 Corinthians 5:20]

God isn’t done with me yet, or he would have taken me home already. [Philippians 1:25]

God continues to forgive me when I run away from Him and his truth and his guidance. [Psalm 32:5]

God isn’t an uninterested bystander in my life, He is keenly aware of what is going on and is right here to help, assist, love, forgive, and guide me. [2 Chronicles 16:9, Matthew 28:20]

God has no buyer’s remorse for having purchased my soul at the cost of his son, Jesus. [Josh Frabitore, Isaiah 53:10]

God will be worth clinging to even if I never get physically or financially better this side of heaven. [Psalm 84:10]

God won’t dump trials and sufferings on me in such high amounts that I can’t take it. He will always provide a way out. [1 Corinthians 10:13]

God never said this life would be easy, in fact He said that in this life I would have trouble. [John 16:33]

God knows that this trial will only last for a short time. That might mean 1 year, 10 years, or 100 years. But that is such an insignificant amount of time on the scale of eternity with Him. [1 Peter 1:6-7]

God can help me overcome the inherently selfish thoughts that inundate my mind, “I this……, I that…”, and put them in line with the things God says about me. [2 Corinthians 10:5]

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